They Can't Take That Away From Me
by theknittymistress
Summary: HPB SPOILER, POST HPB: One emotionally wounded young woman finds comfort in a caring teacher. His love, a forbidden love, changes her life forever. Tastefully handeled Student Teacher relationship. Lupin and OFC
1. Prologue and Chapter One

**A/N:** I don't own anything you recognize including, but not limited to song lyrics by George and Ira Gershwin and original works of fiction by Frances Hodgeson Burnett. I make no money off this-I do it strictly for fun. Enjoy, R/R please!

**Prologue: Blurry Reflections**

Trees flew past the window in a blur of gloomy colours. The train wasn't going very fast: speed was not the cause of the distortion. It was tears. Tears that pooled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Silently she wept, staring out the window the train into an indiscernible swirl of navy, forest green, and black. Every now and then, when she thought she'd finally beaten back the tears, she caught her reflection in the window and succumbed to the tears again. The thin pink scar that sat on her right cheek, the locket around her neck whose contents she dared not look at, her new, somewhat strange clothing her recent change of lifestyle had forced upon her. All of it reminded her of one thing. Him.

_Faster_, she spoke silently to her self on the train. _Faster and as far away from there, away from the memories, away from it all. As fast and as far as possible._

Her mind raced with memories; memories that she couldn't escape, no matter how much she wanted to. Memories of what she'd lost, what she'd gained…bitter sweet memories, but much more bitter than sweet. She felt another onslaught of hot tears push their way to the surface and tasted their saltiness on her lips. This train ride was so different from the one she'd taken this time last year. She'd felt great loss then too, but this…this was so much harder to accept, so much harder to live with. It over-cast what she'd experienced last year by a hundred-fold. Then she'd been a fearful young girl. Now, she had nothing to fear- all that mattered to her was gone… gone forever. She swallowed hard at the lump in her throat and closed her eyes.

" Remus," she whispered, barely audible. "Remus, look what you've done to me. Just what you always said you never would." She took a deep breath and sank back through her thoughts. Back to him. Back to last year, Back to her pain's source. Back to everything she was trying to escape…

* * *

**Chapter One: A New Year**

As Sophie approached Platform Nine and Three-quarters, she realised that the Ministry had not been joking about any of the increased security measures she'd been informed of. Since Dumbledore's death, the Ministry was taking no chances regarding the wizarding youth of the UK. In light of the many Death Eater and Dementor attacks that had plagued both the wizarding and Muggle worlds, Scrimgeour had announced that Hogwarts was still the safest place for school-aged witches and wizards.

The Aurors stationed outside of Platform Nine and Three-quarters were not hard to spot at all; the ministry really needed brighter people in charge of Muggle surveillance, because these two men stuck out like sore thumbs. They stood on either side of the barrier dressed like film-noir detectives, clad in tan trench coats, grey fedoras, and large black sunshades. Under the watchful eyes of these two, Sophie passed through the barrier, only to be jerked sideways by another Auror and ran over with a secrecy sensor. After her baggage had been sufficiently searched, she boarded the train.

She found an empty compartment toward the back of the train and entered it. She placed her trunk and her owl's cage on the luggage rack, and seated herself close large window in the outer wall of the compartment, her knapsack close beside her in the seat. Her small, yellow owl, Butternut, hooted unhappily from her perch inside her cage.

"I can't let you out in here, your too hyper, and you'd just fly around squawking. We'll be at Hogwarts soon enough." Butternut seemed to understand her owner's message and resigned herself to sulking on her perch. Sophie sifted through her knapsack and produced a Muggle-written novel. The one in her hands was her favourite that she'd read so far. It was about a young girl who'd been sent to live with her uncle in a place called Misselthwaite Manor after her parents had died of yellow fever in India. She loved the story because the little girl had come to live at the manor as a cold and disheartened youth, but learned to love. She loved Muggle novels. They were so uncomplicated by magic-at least the ones that she read, anyway. Actually, Sophie loved Muggle anything: Muggle novels, Muggle fashions, Muggle inventions, the Muggle way of cooking; everything was just so much simpler.

Not long after Sophie began reading, there was a knock at the compartment door. The door slid open and Harry Potter stuck his head inside.

"Saving this for anyone?" he nodded, indicating the compartment.

"No." She'd said it too fast, and could feel her cheeks burn. Harry grinned and motioned for someone behind him to enter the compartment. He had no doubt mistaken her blushing as a sign of attraction, but it was actually Sophie's reaction to almost anyone addressing her. Sure Harry was a nice looking boy, but he didn't exactly "flip her switch".

Sophie recognised the others who had come in after him, and wished she hadn't allowed them to sit with her. Sophie wasn't anti-social, she was just shy and since the attack this July, she'd become even more introverted; and these people were talkers. Ron and Hermione were seventh year Gryffindors, and Ginny (at least that's what Sophie thought her name was) was a sixth year Gryffindor who'd been possessed by a diary or something when they were younger. Sophie had been in classes with the older three since their first year; Ravenclaw had always had at least one class with Gryffindor when they were younger, she still managed to get thrown in a class with them somehow, even when they started to pick their own schedueles.

She doubted anyone other than Hermione recognized her, and Ron didn't even bother to acknowledge her existence. She knew the trio of seventh years very well though. Sophie, like it or not, was constantly watching others, and because of her quiet demeanour, she was never noticed. Sophie could learn more about people by watching them for fifteen minutes than she ever could in an actual conversation, and she was a lot more comfortable that way too. She began to read her novel after everyone took their seats. The conversation was so distracting that she barely took in five words that she read. It wasn't that interesting, just loud. Hermione and the Ginny girl began discussing information enclosed in the purple pamphlets that all Hogwarts students had received from the Ministry of Magic, that summer. According to them, security had been increased both inside and out of the castle, and it had been declared, once again, the safest place on earth, however, the turnout to King's Cross had not mirrored that.

At about ten forty-five, Ron and Hermione excused themselves to sit in the prefect compartment for "just a bit". Sophie put down her book, faced the wall, and feigned sleep to avoid any uncomfortable conversations. Harry and Ginny began to have a quite awkward conversation, but the awkwardness soon faded away and it mover to a smooth talk between friends, and then to snogging. Sophie felt her cheeks color at the sound of their kissing, and with much effort, eventually fell sleep.

The opening of the sliding door to the compartment woke her from the light nap she'd been taking , but her body didn't betray her. Rather than turning to view who had entered the compartment, she watched the scene's reflection in the window. Ginny sprang from Harry( apparently they'd still been snogging) and back to her seat across from him. A rather disgusted looking Ron sat next to his little sister who was attempting to look innocent, and a smirking Hermione sat between Sophie and a rather pink Harry. As a dull conversation regarding the other prefects and Hermione's appointment to Head Girl began to fade, Ron spoke.

"Oy," he began. "Is this a new girl?" He nodded his head toward Sophie.

"No," said Hermione in a whisper, sounding slightly annoyed. "Her name's Sophie Featherblade. She's a seventh year Ravenclaw. We've had classes with her for the last six years. Now, be quite, she looks like she hasn't slept much lately and I don't want to wake her up"

"Oh…" he lowered his voice as he spoke. "Has she always had legs like that?" Sophie instantly blushed and discreetly tugged at the hem of her skirt. Hermione kicked Ron in the shin as Ginny elbowed him in the chest, mumbling something that sounded like "perverted pig".

"Well," said Ron, sounding offended. "I would have remembered legs like that if I'd seen them before."

"What's gotten into you?" Hermione asked with an incredulous look on her face. Ron shrugged, andHermione hesitated for a moment before speaking. "She has lost quite a bit of weight, but I suppose you would lose your appetite too if your mother had been kissed by a dementor and placed in St. Mungos, and your father had been killed by Death Eaters."

"Those were her parents?" asked Harry. "I read about it in the daily prophet this summer. They were the first attack after Dum…after what happened in June?"

"Yeah," said Ginny. "Poor girl has had a rough summer." Sophie hated hearing herself being talked about like this and was wishing she'd been able to remain asleep, but thankfully the conversation switched gears. Apparently Harry had not wanted to return to Hogwarts this year, but search for something called a "Horcrux" instead. He launched into a rant containing a rather large number of expletives, but Hermione began a conversation right over his.

"So, now that McGonagall's Headmistress, I wonder who will be the new transfiguration teacher."

"And whose going to be our Head of House?" questioned Ginny

"Oh, and now that that bastard Snape is gone, who's taking over Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"I dunno," began Harry, "but I sure feel sorry for the poor S.O.B."

Soon Sophie felt she could feign sleep no longer and "woke up". She pulled from her knapsack a sketch pad and drawing pencil.

_What to draw, what to draw…_she thought to herself.

Her eyes searched the compartment and fell upon a great snowy owl in a large cage. She couldn't remember who brought it in with them. She began to layout the drawing, and then shaded it. It was such a majestic looking creature, and she feared she wouldn't do it justice. Much more time had passed than she realised because soon Hermione announced that it was time to put on their robes. The boys grabbed their things and took leave while the girls dressed.

"Oh, Hedwig looks fantastic on paper!" exclaimed Hermione.

"Thank you." replied Sophie timidly as her cheeks flushed…she was no good at compliments.

"I didn't know you were such an artist," stated Ginny in awe.

"Everyone dressed?" asked Ron as he knocked on the door.

"Everyone's dressed." replied Hermione

The boys entered the compartment, muggle wear in hand and Hermione thrust the drawing of Hedwig in Harry's face._ If I'd wanted him to see it, I'd have shown him myself._ He and Ron stared at the sketch pad for a moment. Finally,Harrycommented upon it.

"It's beautiful. Did you really draw that? Of course you did, what am I talking about?"

"Wow."

"So eloquent, Ron." joked his little sister.

"If…if you want it, it's yours…I don't need it."

"Really?" asked Harry as if he didn't believe her.

"Sure."

"No Joke?"

"No joke." Harry beamed at her words as the Hogwarts Express slowed to a halt in Hogsmeade Station, from where the students would depart for Hogwarts Castle.


	2. Chapter Two: New Year, New Professors?

**AN:** Here's Chapter Two! Please R/R!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you recognize including, but not limited to song lyrics by George and Ira Gershwin and original works of fiction by Frances Hodgeson Burnett. I make no money off this-I do it strictly for fun. Enjoy, R/R please!

**Chapter Two: New Year, New Professors?**

Sophie re-positioned herself once again in her four-poster bed in the seventh-year girl's dorm in Ravenclaw Tower. She was once again musingover the events that had taken place earlier in the evening. It was well past midnight now, thewaning moon was high in the sky and cast light upon the walls; light which Sophie only saw in slivers through the places where navy blue panels that enclosed her bed met. Sighing, she rolled onto her back and closed her eyes. Sleep would not come, not for a while, and possibly not at all. For the past two months, Sophie barely slept at all. This insomnia, combined with her drastic weight loss and quieted demeanor gave her an exhausted and angst-ridden apperance. Thinking about the day's events sometimes lulled her into a shallow sleep; she doubted regaling herself with the day's excitement would help her sleep at all, but she'd decided to give it a try.

She quickly sifted through her memories and past the train ride in her mind. After getting off the train, Sophie was quite surprised to see mammoth beasts hitched to the coaches the other students were boarding. These black Pegasus-like creatures had skin that looked like that of a snake, red eyes and immense black wings. When one whinnied, she noticed,thr creature'smouth contained an upper and lower row of great, pointy teeth. _Thestrals_. The word sprang into her mind. Professor Hagrid, the Care of Magical Creatures professor, had taken students to the woods in their fifth year to see these great beasts, but Sophie was blind to them then. They were only visible to those who had seen death.

Alone now, as those who had shared the compartment left her as soon as the train stopped rolling, Sophie wearily climbed into a Tthestral-driven coach . A rather awkward looking Gryffindor she new as Neville Longbottom, and Luna Lovegood, a 6th year Ravenclaw, were already inside. Neville was staring into Rememberall filled with red smoke, his face contorted in concentration. Luna was reading the latest issue of the wizard tabloid, _The Quibbler_. They both looked up a she seated herself and Sophie nodded to them in acknowledgement. They braced themselves as the coach lurched forward and embarked toward the castle in silence. _Why couldn't they have been my compartment mates? _After a quarter of an hour, Sophie spoke.

"I don't know if either of you can answer this," Sophie paused as asked, surprised by what had come out of her mouth with out her consent, but decided to continue anyway. "Are those things pulling the carriage…are they _Thestrals_?"

"Yes," Luna answered, her unusually large eyes boring into Sophie. "According to my father, they're transfigured wizards who angered the Ministry. It was Scrimgeour's idea, back before he was Minister, and now that he's in charge, Dad says that they'll be an upward surge in the Thestral population." Neville gave Luna an incredulous look.

"Weren't you here when Hagrid took us to see them?" asked Neville.

"Yes, but I just had no idea they'd be so …evil looking."

"Oh.." A pitying look crossed Neville's face. "You saw someone die this summer, didn't you?" his question came out as more of a statement. "I'm sorry for that." And that was the end of conversation on their ride to the castle. Within a few short minutes, they reached the large oak doors and exited the students filed out of the coaches and into the Great Hall.

The students dispersed in the direction of their respective house tables, Sophie chose to sit near Luna, who had been avoided by the other students; she'd be left alone here. With out surprise, Sophie noticed that the Hall was decorated with all four house colours- blue and bronze for her house, yellow and black for Hufflepuff, green and silver, and scarlet and gold for Gryffindor. Above the tables floated everlasting candles, and the ceiling displayed a navy night sky with a waning gibbous moon. After the returning students were all seated and quiet, Professor Sprout led in the two long lines of first years. It turned out that Scrimgeour's warning had taken root in parents' minds; only about one fourth of the returning students were missing. Sophie glanced at the teachers' table and saw who she was looking for. _Of course, McGonagall was Headmistress now, she wouldn't be conducting the Sorting Ceremony._ Professor Sprout produced the stool and Sorting Hat, which sang a long ballad of Dumbledore's demise. After the Hat's tune ended, nervous looking eleven year-olds were distributed among the four houses. At McGonagall's signal, a feast appeared. After a few moments of eating, McGonagall rose.

" I want you to know, _each and every one of you_, that I know how hard it was for you to return this year. The terrible event of last June has left us all with broken hearts, and I know that we will always carry Professor Dumbledore in our hearts. Do not let his passing haunt you this year, for he would not have wished that of anyone. Some new rules will be enforced, such as a ten o'clock curfew, no walking on the grounds without supervision of a professor, and **_NO ONE_** will have access to the Room of Requirement. Also, all owls will be filtered and we will be having frequent emergency drills."

"And now, students," continued McGonagall in a somber voice, " I have a few announcements to make. I would like to introduce this year's Defense Against The Dark Arts and Transfiguration teachers." The soft rumble of hushed voices that had only seconds ago filled the Great Hall now ceased. All heads were turned toward the Headmistress's seat at the teachers' table.

"First, I must announce that Professor Slughorn has graciously offered to return as the Head of Slytherin House." The Slytherins let out a cheer at this as the aged walrus rose and bowed in mocked modesty. "I regret to inform you," McGonagall continued, "that I will not be able to handle the positions of both Headmistress and professor, so yes, you will be getting a new Transgifuration professor." at this point in the speech, her eyes caught something at the back of the room. "And," she perked up slightly," speak of the devil, here she, and your Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor are now." The students head's all turned as one from the front of the hall to the back. Conversations regarding the two before them began at once across the tables. There, at the entrance stood a rather surly looking young woman with hot pink, pixie-cut hair, and a red-faced Remus Lupin. McGonagall waved them forward and they walked toward the teachers' table.

"This," motioning toward the pink-haired young lady, "is Professor Nymphadora Tonks, your new Transfiguration teacher." Professor Tonks waved and smiled at the sea of students, then proceeded toward an empty chair at the far left end of the table, next to Professor Hagrid, who greeted her with a great bear hug that lifted her from the floor. Flustered, the young professor took her seat.

"And _this_," McGonagall ushered him forward with a push on his back, "is someone I need not introduce to the fifth, sixth, or seventh years, Professor Remus Lupin. Not only will he be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, but he will also be taking over my position as Head of Gryffindor House!" McGonagall beamed as the Gryffindor table let out a roar of cheers. Lupin nodded shyly in acknowledgement and seated himself at the far right end of the table next to Professor Flitwick, who shook hands with the returning teacher.

Sophie noticed some subtle changes in her old professor- his sandy brown hair had begun to grey around the roots, and his face had become much more lined in the past three years. A fresh red scar cut across his right temple and his right palm was wrapped in a flesh coloured cloth bandage. He looked quite a bit older than his mere thirty-seven years; he looked troubled and worn- more so than Sophie remembered. As the meal continued, Sophie watched her new professors- Lupin stared at his plate and offered minimal responses to Flitwick's many questions, and Tonks, while seemingly engrossed in a conversation with Hagrid, stole several looks at Lupin, her eyes beckoning him to look her way.

The meal ended and students trudged to their various dormitories. Sophie had sped through the Ravenclaw common room to the seventh year girl's dormitory, where she lay in bed. It was now two in the morning and her mind was still wide awake. She rolled onto her side and grunted. She'd have to go sleepless tonight, something she'd got used to in the recent months. She hoped it would be remedied by her return to Hogwarts; this was apparently not the case.


	3. Chapter Three: Wolf Where?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything you recognize including, but not limited to song lyrics by George and Ira Gershwin and original works of fiction by Frances Hodgeson Burnett. I make no money off this-I do it strictly for fun. Enjoy, R/R please! 

**Chapter Three: Wolf Where? **

As the sun rose on Hogwarts, light streamed through in slivers onto Sophie's bed. She sat up, and pulled back the curtains of her bed; the sleepless night lasted forever and she readily welcomed the day. Quietly, she dressed in fresh school robes: Her white blouse was crisp and her tie tied straight, her tights were snag-free and her skirt was pressed. She pulled on her sweater vest and slipped on her shoes, then looked into the mirror on thebureau beside her bed. Her hair was a mess. She combed it and brushed it, but it refused to lay flat. Finally, she took out her wand and muttered a cosmetic spell that smoothed her hair and forced it to lay wrinkle free in a side part that framed her face. Her long ash-blonde hair fell past her waist, and herfringe slanted across her forehead in effort to minimize it. Her face looked hollow, and there were massive dark circles under her eyes. Her complexion was exceedingly pale, which made the circles stand out even more. Her lips were red and swollen; the bottom one was slightly chapped from her constant biting of it-something she did when she was nervous. As she gazed into the mirror, a pained look cam across her face. _I guess this is as good as it's going to get …_

After grabbing her robe and knapsack, Sophie tiptoed out of the dormitory, careful not to wake her dormmates,and down to the common room which was empty- exactly what she'd wanted. She sat down in an over-stuffed armchair by the fire (already lit by house elves) and took her novel from her bag. The little girl was now sitting in her garden- no, not her garden, her aunt's garden, telling a poor local boy of the mistreatment she received after coming to England from India. The children of a family she'd stayed with teased her with a taunting rhyme in singsong:

_Mistress Mary, quite contrary _

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells

And pretty maids all in a row

Why this was offensive, she hadn't really understood before, but yesterday the realization hit her. Mary was a quiet, sad girl. She was different, and the children took her silence for snobbery. That's the way the other students treated her now, all but Luna and Neville. No one flat out teased her with singsong nursery rhymes, but when she'd been around the others, none had spoken to her. _They pity me…_ Part of her liked it- it was what she thought she wanted, but another, smaller part felt lonely and cold. Sophie continued to read until seven-thirty when other students began filtering, sleepy-eyed, into the common room, and she headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.

When she entered the Great Hall, she noticed only one other person was inside. He looked somewhat less exhausted, if slightly distracted, as he gazed out one of the large windows that faced the lake. Sophie took a seat at her house table and food appeared on platters in front of her. Nothing really stuck out as something she wanted to ingest, but she knew she needed to eat. She placed on her plate a sausage, a scoop of eggs, a triangle of toast, and a spoon full of honey. Before eating, she glanced back at Professor Lupin whose attention had moved from the window to Sophie. He smiled and raised his goblet of pumpkin juice in a timid toast, and as she did the same, a small smile curved across his mouth. After half an hour, she'd managed to rearrange her plate completely, but only ate five bites of food. The others slowly began to filter in for breakfast, and Sophie took it as her cue to filter out.

Inside the library, Sophie sifted through the shelves containing books on Muggle Studies. She'd hoped that the library would acquire new ones over the summer- she'd read all the rest. _Nothing new here…I guess I'll have to fi_- Her thoughts were interrupted by a slimy feminine voice:

"I can't believe the governors are letting that _filthy_ werewolf teach us. It's an outrage, that mangy old beast. Honestly, if Draco's father wasn't in Azkaban, none of _this_ would be happening…" Sophie could feel her face getting hot as Pansy Parkinson defiled Professor Lupin. Sure, he was a werewolf. Everyone knew that, but he couldn't help it. He'd even fought against Fenrir Greyback when the Death Eaters attacked the school last year. She slunk behind the shelve, so she could listen in on her conversation. Another advantage to being so quiet was that you could find out anything. No one heard you, so no one noticed you.

"Oh, Pansy, I'm so sorry about Draco," began another voice. "I always thought you two would be together forever."

"What do you mean _thought_?" Pansy spat at the other girl. "We're going to get married as soon as the Dark Lord rules again, and that should be in no time…" 

"So he's proposed?" asked the other girl excitedly.

"Well," began Pansy, with a downtrodden tone in her voice. "Not directly, bu-"

"Has he talked to you since he vanished with Snape?"

" Not really…would you look at the time?" she said hurriedly. "We're going to be late for class…"

After the two Slytherins had cleared out of the library, Sophie rose and headed to her first class of the day, potions. She'd never had a strong hand in potions, and Slughorn hadn't chosen her as one of the "precious" few members of the Slug Club. She wasn't extraordinary enough for him- she wasn't extraordinary at all, but it was something that sat perfectly well with Sophie. She didn't really care for the man and did not wish to spend any more time with him than necessary. The class was a boring one, which went by slowly; they didn't attempt to create anything, but were simply briefed as to what they would do in class in the coming year.

Grateful to be away from Slughorn, Sophie sped to her Defense Against The Dark Arts class. Defense Against the Dark Arts had not always been her favourite, probably her one of her least, second only to potions. She hated the Dark Arts- they caused so much pain- and she didn't even want to think about them, much less learn about them. Sophie seated herself at the back of the classroom, her bag on the table, and pulled out her novel. _There really can't be much theory behind this classthat I can't learn on my own…_

She read until Professor Lupin began to speak, and found that she could no longer concentrate on her book. While he seemed like a timid man outside of class, when he spoke he captivated the room filled with Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Everyone's eyes followed him, and he spoke with such a charisma that Sophie no longer cared that what she was learning was something she loathed. When at last Lupin dismissed the class, Sophie felt disappointed; she wished that the lesson would continue so she could stay there and learn all he could teach her. After the other students exited the classroom, she rose and slowly walked out the door and into the corridor. _I didn't remember him being such a **good** teacher. I don't think he ever held my attention like that before…_

Classes continued to drag by for several weeks, and Sophie was flooded with relief every time she entered the Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom. Only Muggle Studies could hold her attention as much as this class did, but she could practically teach Muggle Studies. The other students thought her a bit odd for knowing so much about Muggles. She was able to answer questions before her fellow students, and Sophie had assured Ron Weasley several times that she did not now and never had collected any type of plug.

One day a few months into the school year, after Professor Lupin had taught a rather enlightening class on the origins of vampires, he caught Sophie by the arm on her way out the door.

"Miss Featherblade, I trust that you're recovering from the events that took place this summer?"

"I'm as well as can be expected…" her open-ended answer left a confused expression on his face.

"I want you to know, if you ever need to talk about something that's bothering you, I'm here. I'm sure you've heard this several times, but," he put a hand lightly on her shoulder for emphasis, "I mean it. I've dealt wit loss in my life too, and I know how painful it can be. If you ever need anything, anything at all, you can come to me for it." Sophie could tell by the look on his face that he meant it, not like the others that had offered to "talk" with her- she could tell they were just being polite. But with him, she just knew his offer was sincere.

"Thank you, Sir." She turned to leave, but he caught her by the arm.

"Take this." He placed a long, smooth, glass vial in her hand. It contained a pale yellow-coloured pearlescent liquid. She looked at him, imploringly. "It's a sleeping draught that I asked Professor Slughorn to prepare. I know the tell tale signs of a slumberless night when I see one. Pour some into a cup of tea and drink before you go to bed. It's sweet and leaves no aftertaste. That vial should contain enough for seven days, so if you still need it in a weeks time, I'll have one for you then." He pressed her fingers firmly around the vial then walked to his desk and sat down. Sophie was speechless.

"Thank you, Professor Lupin," she managed to choke out. _How did he know I needed this? Has he been watching me? Should I even take it?_ she mused as she walked hurriedly to the Great Hall for lunch. During a lunch of beef stew, she decided that she wouldn't take the potion, and after her last class she buried it in her trunk. She didn't need a potion to help hersleep, she was determinedto do itby herself.

As midnight approached, Sophie realized she could not stand another sleepless night. She quietly got out of her bed, opened her trunk and began to dig for her potion. The vial proved to be much harder to find in the dark than she'd expected, and she realized that she had a way of finding it much more easily. After stubbing her toe on the nightstand in effort to find her wand, she turned to face the trunk.

_"Accio Vial," _

After the vial flew into her hand, she climbed into bed and shut the curtains around her. She conjured a cup of Chamomille tea, then poured one seventh of the vial into her cup. _Here goes nothing…_ The tea was pleasantly sweet, just like Professor Lupin had said.

Within moments of finishing her tea, hiding the vial, and disposing of her cup and saucer, Sophie was asleep. She slept soundly for the first time since the night her parents had left her forever.


	4. Chapter 4: I Can Help

**A/N: T**his chapter is a bit short, and it hasn't been beta-d yet. I apologize for the mistakes ahead of time. 

**Chapter Four: I Can Help**

For the next two weeks, Sophie slept soundly; every seven days she received a new vial of sleeping draught from Professor Lupin. Classes continued slowly- Sophie eagerly anticipated her Muggle Studies and Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons. Her feelings about the latter class had changed since the beginning of the school year. That was, until Professor Lupin decided to teach a unit on the Unforgivable Curses.

"Today class, you will be learning about the _Avada Kedavra Curse_," began Professor Lupin. Avada Kedavra. The words stung Sophie's heart and pained her stomach. A hand shot up at the back of the room. "Yes, Padma?" 

Professor Moody taught us about the Unforg-" Padma began, but Professor Lupin cut her off.

"If I recall, Miss Patil, it was not Professor Moody who taught you in your fourth year, but a dark wizard posing as him?" Padma nodded as her cheeks coloured. Professor Lupin smiled good-naturedly and continued speaking. "Then you won't mind if I go ahead and teach you about them again?" Padma grinned timidly and shook her head in reply.

"_ The Avada Kedavra_ Curse is, as you know a killing curse that can only be produced if the witch or wizard casting the curse truly feels the hatred required to kill a person." Simply hearing the curse described caused tears to well in Sophie's eyes. "The curse is generally only produced by Dark witches or wizards, and there is no counter-curse for it." _There is no counter -curse_.Sophie felt like there was a knife being twisted about in her heart as the words rang in her ears. _Even if I could have gotten to him, there was nothing I could do…_ She concentrated on a crack in the table she was seated at and tried, for the first time, _not_ to hear what her professor was saying. She could feel tears pooling behind her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep them there. It didn't work. In a flash, Sophie was out of the classroom and running down the corridor towards Ravenclaw Tower.

"Miss Featherblade….Miss Featherblade!" she heard her Professor call after her, but she kept running away from the words that haunted her dreams-_Avada Kedavra_.

* * *

Once she was safe in the dormitory, she climbed onto her bed, shut the curtains around it, and buried herself up to her chin in the rich and warm navy colored bedclothes that covered it. She grasped the chain that hung around her neck, under her blouse, and pulled the silver heart that hung from it. She hesitated for a moment, then opened the locket, revealing its contents.

From inside the locket, Sophie's parents looked up and smiled at her, waving. Her mother gave her father a kiss on the cheek, and as she did, he laughed, and although the photograph did not make a sound, Sophie could hear his laughter ringing in her ears. Sophie smiled and a single tear rolled down her cheek. She closed her eyes and saw them- her mother staring blankly in front of her, slumped on the floor next to the kitchen table, her father's limp corpse face down in front of the cupboard she was stuck inside. Sophie quickly opened her eyes but she was soon blinded by tears. She rolled over onto her side and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

" Do you think we should wake her? It's almost time for dinner."

"I don't know…she ran out of class quite flustered, and she is sleeping…she looks like she feels better after she sleeps. And it's not like she'd eat dinner anyway…" Sophie squinted as the light coming through her now-open bed curtains hit her open eyes. She couldn't see the girls faces, but she recognized their voices as belonging to Padma Patil and Orla Quirke.

"Don't bother debating anymore," said Sophie in a rather grumpy voice. "I'm already up. I need to eat something anyway." Sophie sat up and kicked her feet over the edge of the bed.

"Are you alright?" asked Padma. Sophie nodded her head, but Padma didn't look pleased with that as an answer. "I'm not just talking about what happened today," she continued. "You've been like this since the beginning of the year, and I understand that you will be doing some grieving, but you're just not the same girl you used to be." Padma walked over to Sophie and sat down next to her on the bed. "Now, I know we've never been really close, but I'm worried about you. You are my housemate, and if you have a problem, it's my problem too." Padma timidly put her hand on Sophie's and squeezed it. Sophie looked at Padma; the girls simultaneously smiled at one another. At that moment, Orla walked over to where the two were standing, placed her hands on her hips and grinned.

" Sophie, I'm here for you too, but I'm quite hungry, and if we plan on eating tonight, we need to get down to the Great Halll."

That night, Sophie dined, not by herself, but with Padma and Orla. It felt good, not to be the outcast- to have people willingly talking to her. The two girls really were quite kind, and very interesting. They were beautiful too- Padma had long black hair and rich brown skin; her eyes were a dark chestnut colour and rimmed with ebony colored lashes. Orla had shoulder-length curly red hair, green eyes, and a peaches-and-cream complexion. Sophie felt slightly intimidated by the beauty and willingness to talk, but at the same time she felt excepted and slightly happy for the first time in a very long time.

* * *

As Sophie entered Defense Against the Dark she noticed that Padma was conversing with Professor Lupin behind his desk. Shortly after seating herself at the back of the classroom, Padma headed toward where she and Orla sat and motioned to Sophie for her to join them. Sophie spent the class doodling on a scrap of parchment, ignoring a lesson on the _Cruciatus Curse_. As she got up from her desk to leave the classroom after the lesson, Professor Lupin stepped in between her body and the door.

"Miss Featherblade, we need to talk. Please step into my office." Sure that she had been caught not paying attention in class, Sophie sighed and followed her professor. Once inside, he motioned for her to take a seat in an arm chair next to his desk, and he shut the office door before seating himself.

"I do not understand why this was brought to me and not your Head of House, but it has, and I intend to attend to the problem." Sophie let out a sigh of relief. _It's not about the doodling…_

"A problem, Sir?"

"Yes, it has come to my attention that several of your fellow students are worried about your well-being.-not about your physical state- though you do look quite overdrawn, but your mental state. I'm going to try and help."


	5. Chapter 5: About That Night

**Discalimer:** I own nothing you recognize.

**Chapter Five: About That Night **

The following day, Sophie returned to Professor Lupin's classroom. He told her to meet him there at four o'clock, after classes were finished for the day. He said that they would be done by five-thirty - with plenty of time for her to reach the Great Hall for supper that evening. Sophie glanced at her wrist watch- it was four-ten, and the lights were off in Professor Lupin's classroom. There was no sign of him anywhere. She could leave now and he wouldn't know she'd even shown up. He'd told her that he wouldn't force her to come- she would do it on her own accord. He just wanted to help her. And he'd seemed so sincere. But she couldn't stay. She couldn't talk about _it_. She couldn't relive _it_. Not now- not _ever_. She'd leave, that's exactly what she'd do, and no one would ever speak of her _"problem"_ again. And she turned to leave.

Upon turning, her face met the tweedy-brown robe-covered chest of Professor Lupin. She took a step back, feeling quite flustered.

"Miss Featherblade, so glad you could make it. I must appologize for my tardiness," he produced his wand from within he sleeve, and with a flick of his wrist, unlocked the classroom door. "You see," he held the door open and motioned her inside, " I was detained by some unauthorized dueling between fourth year boys in the second floor lavatory." Sophie smiled and nodded her head. He turned and re-locked his door with his wand, then continued walking toward his office door.

_If only the duel lasted a bit longer,_ Sophie thought to herself, _then I could have turned around and gotten out of this "session"_. Sophie waited as the professor walked up the many stairs to his office and unlocked the door. He held the door open for her follow him and enter, but she hesitated.

"I thought, Miss Featherblade, the we could have our talk in here, therefore whatever is troubling you is less likely to be overheard by eavesdropping fellow students." He looked down at her from the balcony, waiting for her to step forward, but she did not. "If you'd rather meet in the classroom, that's fine with me…"

"No," Sophie spat out quickly. _Why am I so nervous about this? It's just his office._ "We can go in your office." She scurried up the stairs and inside the office, then sat down on a chair that faced his desk. Professor Lupin lit the lamps in his small office and sat down in a large, rather worn looking arm chair that was positioned across the desk from where Sophie was seated. He placed his fingers on his temples and began to massaged, as if he was trying to come up with the proper words to begin a difficult conversation. After a moment he stopped, and placed his hands on the desk in front of him. He took in a deep breath and began to speak.

"I don't know much, Miss Feat-"

" Please," Sophie interrupted, "please call me Sophie."

"Alright, Sophie. I don't know much about your situation, so you'll have to fill in some blanks for me. I do know, that your parents were killed by Death Eaters-" he paused when he saw Sophie shudder at the name of You-Know-Who's servants. " I also know that you were in the house when it happened. I know that you have not been eating or sleeping regularly, save when I gave you the sleeping potion. And I know that you have pulled away from almost all interaction with your peers. What I don't know is all the details from the night your parents…passed- no one does but you. If you can tell me what happened, I might be able to help you. Can you do that?" He looked at Sophie with imploring eyes.

"I…I…I don't know," Sophie stammered. "I don't remember anything," she lied. She began to twist her hands in her lap, and kept her gaze focused on the floor.

"Really, you don't remember anything?" He asked, clearly not believing her lie.

"No," she kept her eyes focused on a tear in the carpet, fearing if she were to look at him, he would see the lie in her eyes. "I don't remember anything," she repeated.

"I find that hard to believe, considering your reaction to our discussion of the _Avada Kedavra_ curse in class." When he spoke the curse's name, Sophie shivered as if a cold draft had blown through the small room. She looked up at him, no longer able to continue her ruse. A tear was working its way down the side of her face. "Please, Miss Fea- I mean Sophie. Please don't cry. I need you to talk to me, and tell me what happened. The room was silent for what seemed like hours as Sophie prepared to speak.

"Eight."

"What," the professor asked, confused.

"There were eight of them. They couldn't apparate in, so they broke through the front door." And with that, Sophie burst into tears. Professor Lupin rose from his seat, and walked around to where she was seated. He awkwardly placed his and on her shoulder- the most consoling gesture he could produce.

* * *

"So, how'd it go?" Orla asked as she and Padma sat down across from her at the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall.

"How'd what go?" Sophie asked, confused. _How do they know?_ she thought.

"Why, your talk with Pro-" Orla grunted as Padma elbowed her in the ribcage.

"Nothing," Padma interjected. "Orla doesn't know what she's talking about." The redhead's face flushed with embarassment and anger.

" It was you two, wasn't it?" Sophie asked, slightly maddend. "You were the ones who talked to Professor Lupin, weren't you?"

"Yesbutyouseewewereworriedaboutyouandwedidn'tknowwhattodosowewentandtalkedtoProfessorLupinbecausewethoughthemightbeabletohelp!" Orla let out, and then gasped for breath.

"If your angry," Padma began in a much more collected manor, "we appologize, but we felt that something had to be done, and it was his class that seemed to bother you, so we thought maybe he could help. Please don't be mad at us!" The two girls looked up at Sophie with pleading eyes and frowning faces.

"I'm not angry, I just wish you would have asked me first."

* * *

Sophie and the professor's sessions continued in a manor very similar to that of the first for the next week. He would talk to her, she would give up one piece of information, and then she would burst into tears. They achived very little- Professor Lupin now knew that eight Death Eaters who broke in through the front door of the house at seven o'clock in the evening while the family of three was eating dinner at the kitchen table. He also knew that one had long, platinum blonde hair- his hood had fallen off, but his face was still covered by a horrific mask.

The teacher and student did not meet over the weekend, but on the next Monday, when Sophie arrived in Professor Lupin's office, she noticed that something was different. Upon his desk, there sat a great stone basin. It resembled the Muggle birdbath that Sophie had made her mother put in their backyard and fill with water. Sophie sat in her usual seat and waited for Professor Lupin to finish locking the door downstairs. Soon, he entered the office and shut the door behind him.

"I'm sure you are wondering what this is?" He motioned toward the stone basin. Sophie nodded. "That, Sophie, is a Pensieve, and we are going to use it to get to the bottom of your problem.


	6. Chapter 6: A Revealation

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize.

**Chapter Six: A Revelation**

"You're telling me," Sophie began, an incredulous expression on her face, "that you want me to take my most painful memory, place it into that little birdbath over there, and let you inside it to see what happened?"

"We," the professor stated, his unblinking eyes never leaving Sophie's face.

"We, Professor?" she asked, her eyebrow raised in question. "'We' what?"

"_We_ are going to go inside your memory and see what happened." He said it calmly, as if he was simply asking her to tie a shoe or choose between chicken or fish. Steepling his fingers, the professor leaned back in his chair while he waited for Sophie's response. The girl's facial expression changed from one of incredulity to a blank one. Shaking her head, the girl responded.

"No." The word was spoken with force. Sophie's fists were clenched in her hand, her knuckles turning white.

"Sophie, I need to be able to see what happened that day to be able to help you. You can't tell me, so this is the only way I can think to get it out of you." The man rose from his chair and walked around his desk, then knelt beside her chair and placed his hand on top of hers. "I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't think it was necessary." Sophie looked at his hand as it sat on top of hers, certain that the gesture was meant to be reassuring, but she didn't feel it.

"Professor, do you understand what you're asking me to do? I...I just don't think I can."

"Sophie, please. It will be better once you face it." He looked up at her with pleading eyes. The girl looked from the man's hand to his face, then to the floor, processing his words, trying to figure out why what he was asking would help her. Finally the girl took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

"Alright," she said reluctantly. "I'll do it."

As instructed, the girl placed the tip of her wand on her temple, and withdrew the memory, then placed the silvery-white thread into the stone basin that sat on her professor's desk. Lupin then took Sophie by the arm, and leaned toward the Pensieve; soon they were totally immersed.

_Sophie's family sat at the wooden table in the kitchen of their home in London. Her father, a distinguished looking gentleman of forty-six with a head of salt-and-pepper gray hair and twinkling blue eyes, much like Sophie's, smiled broadly as he passed a much happier and less gaunt looking Sophie a basket of dinner rolls from where he sat at the head of the small table. Sophie thanked her father, took a roll, then passed the bread basket to her forty year old mother who sat across from her. Her mother, a beautiful woman with her long blonde tresses secured in a bun at the nape of her neck smiled appreciatively as she took the basket from Sophie. From the window, there came a soft tapping sound and the family turned to see an owl hovering outside the glass, a note tied to it's leg. Sophie's father stood, walked to the window and opened it, took the note from the owl, then sent it on it's way, a coin in its beak. Mr. Featherblade sat back down at the table, all signs of his previous smile clearing from his face as he read the note. When he finished, he handed the note to Sophie's mother, then rushed out of the room. _

_"What's it say?" Sophie asked, anxious to know what unnerved her father so easily. Her mother shook her head, then rose from the table, leaving the note face down on her empty-except-for-a-roll plate. Mrs. Featherblade then told Sophie to get up, and to do as she said, no matter what. Sophie was about to protest for want of an answer, but she didn't have time- several loud popping noises, eight to be exact, came from the front lawn. Just as Mr. Featherblade ran back into the kitchen, the family heard the front door slam open. Mrs. Featherblade pushed Sophie into the pantry, then uttered the words, _"Petrificus totalus," _slammed the door shut, and locked it. She quickly took the roll off of Sophie's plate, then threw the plate and silverware into the cupboard, obviously trying to conceal the fact that there were more than two Featherblades in the house at the moment. _

_As five hooded figures burst through the back door and another four came in through the door that connected the kitchen to the foyer, Sophie's father stepped in front of her mother, wand at the ready, daring the intruders to come closer. One stepped forward and raised his wand at Mr. Featherblade, shouting the killing curse. Sophie's father deflected it, but was not fast enough to deflect the disarming spell that flew at him from the opposite direction. _

_"We're not going to kill him yet!" The man who sent the disarming spell hissed at the shorter, rounder figure who attempted the killing curse. _

_"But the Dark Lord said-" _

_" The Dark Lord said," the man mimicked with a sneering tone in his voice, his face obstructed by a skull-like mask that matched the ones the others wore, "to kill them, but he didn't say we couldn't have fun first." Then, the man turned to Sophie's parents, his wand raised, his hood slipping from where it covered his head revealing long almost-white hair tied back by a black satin ribbon. "Where is your daughter?" he asked, his voice a smooth as silk. _

_"She's not here!" Sophie's mother cried from the floor where she cradled her husband's body as he was beginning to come to. _

_"I don't believe you. _CRUCIO!_" The curse was fast and cruel without warning. Sophie's mother writhed on the floor next to her husband, as he pleaded with the Death Eaters to stop. The hooded figures let out vindictive laughter as almost-inhuman screeches of pain filled the small house. Finally, after what seemed like ages, the man lifted his wand and broke the curse. Sophie's mother's limp, unconscious body lay on the floor, still as death. "Wake her up," the man commanded one of his comrades. The man lifted Mrs. Featherblade from the floor after kicking her father in the ribs twice, then slapped the woman across the face until she opened her eyes. _

_"Please...please don't hurt my...my wife." Sophie's father was able to choke out between gasps for breath and wet coughs. _

_"Tell me where your daughter is." The man asked, his voice void of emotion. _

_"N-N-Never!" her father screamed with all his might. Another of the Death Eaters kicked Mr. Featherblade in the stomach as the blonde man beckoned for a hooded figure at the back to come forward. The being, clearly not a man, floated forward, then stopped behind he who had called it. _

_"If you don't tell me where she is, your wife is going to get very well acquainted with this Dementor." _

_"Don't tell him, George!" Mrs. Featherblade commanded weakly. Without further speaking, the blonde man motioned forward with two fingers and the Dementor descended upon Mrs. Featherblade, encircling her mouth with the gaping hole in it's head, and all life-like color began to drain from her body as Mr. Featherblade screamed her name. _

_Once the Dementor had done it's job, leaving the shell of Sophie's mother slumped against the cabinet door that hid the sink pipes, the blonde man motioned for the Dementor to be taken away, and with it left four of the men. The ring leader raised his wand, but before he could cast a spell, the short, round Death Eater tugged at his sleeve. _

_"Not now, Pettigrew. While I kill him, you search the house for the girl. The rest of you can leave." At his cue, two large, goonish looking figures left the house, and the short, rotund one left the room, muttering something under his breath. The blonde man paced the room as George Featherblade held his wife's empty form in his arms. _

_"_Avada Kedavra!_" The man administered the killing curse without warning, then called out for his partner in crime. The other man returned to the kitchen, declaring that the girl was nowhere in the house. Reluctantly, the blonde man left, his short colleague following behind. The sound of their Apparating 'pops' resonated through kitchen. _

_Within moments, more 'pops' were heard, and a team of red-robed Aurors arrived, searching the house for signs of life. One summoned a stretcher, then levitated Mr. Featherblade's lifeless corpse onto it, covered him with a sheet, and navigated it out the door. Another summoned a second stretcher and followed the same procedure with Mrs. Featherblade, but left her uncovered because she was still breathing. _

_An old, weathered-looking Auror had the sense to do what the Death Eaters had not, and blasted the lock off of the panty door, revealing Sophie, frozen in a position of protest, her face lined with tear trails, eyes red and blinking. The man who Sophie recognized as her once-professor, Alastor Moody promptly un-petrified her. The girl collapsed into his arms, sobbing. _

_"There, there, Love," the man said in a gruff voice as he placed his hands gingerly on her shoulders. "Did you see anything?" _

_"I-I saw it all through the s-slats in the pantry door," Sophie let out through muffled sobs._

When Sophie and Professor Lupin surfaced from the Pensieve, Sophie was wrapped in his arms, sobbing as she beat her fist weakly against his chest, weakly repeating the word 'why.'

"Sophie-I-I had no idea...I'm _so_ sorry." The man gingerly placed his hand on her head and began to smooth her hair in what he hoped was a soothing manner. "I am _so_ sorry."


End file.
